Jordan’s Testimony

I’m an only child with two awesome parents, and growing up in the church I have always believed that Jesus loved me. Although, as I’ve grown up, I have dealt with doubts, denials, and struggles wondering whether what I was raised to believe was true. In middle school, I lost my grandfather to lung cancer, which left me to begin my struggle with trusting God with my heart. Throughout middle school I fought with a series of dramatic ups and downs in my relationship with Jesus. One minute I was on fire for his love, and the next I was feeling worse than ever, and doubting his ability to be what I needed. Because I felt that he wasn’t capable of taking care of me, I found myself entering high school putting my identity in friends, who liked me, how many followers I had, and my performance in sports. Although I had plenty of friends and was doing well in athletics, I often felt empty; as if there was a hole that nothing else could fill. This past summer, I attended a few Christian camps and began to fell God breaking me down. As if he was telling me to get out of hurtful relationships, to stop looking for myself in worldly things, and to return my hope to the one person that could carry it with care. I’m still trying to invest in a stable relationship with Jesus, but I know realize that he is advocating for me, fighting for me, and seeking me out without rest. Over these years I have found that nothing fills you like Jesus, and following him is te best choice that I’ve ever made.

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